I have noticed that if you can let it go and not force anything, then suddenly all goes just well. Just do not bother. It works for everything. At first I thought it couldn’t be. How can it be: you seem to be not interested, but what you want somehow strangely comes to you?
From all examples to proof it, first of all learning of driving comes to my mind. I was at Uni and I did not really think about driving a car. I decided to get driving licence just in case it would be no time in the future for it. Someone from classmates told me he? she passed exam and I thought «why don’t I, too?». Of course at first I was veryyyyy nervous! But then I realised it works as following. If I was worried before I seat into the car, asked myself to concentrate and be accurate, told to myself how important it is – I didn’t succeed. The car stalled at crossroads, because I forgot to change the gear, I did not fit into the turns and could not park. I was completely focused on the process, shrinked into myself, afraid to breathe.
Miracles started to happen when I «reduced the problem to zero». I told to myself «Listen, just go there now and try to have fun from this studying. Ok, if it does not work, then it means you are blondie in your soul and that is it. Nothing else, not the end of the World». And guess what. Everything went just well in this case. I managed to discuss something with the instructor without forgetting to switch off something I needed, I felt just naturally when I had to. Even if it didn’t work with the parking, I asked the instructor to give me a chance, inhaled – exhaled and voila-la! Well, this can be attributed to the fact that in any physical action to relax is never needless. What about other situations?
Exams, for instance. I was so exhausted after preparing to Uni entering exams, that innerly I allowed myself to study badly. I told to myself I had to enjoy student life. Ha! Preparing for the first exam at Uni, I learned half of the questions. I did not care too much and understood only first part, but in details. But for my brilliant answer to the first question and the ability to support the discussion, the teacher literally answered to the second one by herself to be able to give me the highest score. Further all in the same vein. I pulled the questions I knew. I perfectly learnt how to cheat on an exam. Starting from the third year, when I realised I could get the diploma with honour, I had to sustain a positive image. And that’s not been as much fun!
Or running! When I dreamed to run my first 5 kilometres, pushed my self and forced it as I could, nothing worked. But it was enough to allow myself not to run, if I do not really wanted when I ran even 6.
Now, when I long for something, I know I just need to stop waiting. And this is the most difficult. It is fine if you really do not expect anything. When at the age of 11 in a small casino I was shown the first time how slot machines work, I threw a coin, pulled the lever, turned around and went away. And I turned back only at the sound of falling coins. Ha! All those guys spending hours in front of those machines looked at me. Take it easy, guys, just let it go!
But it is another question if you are really obsessed about something. Something that doesn’t really depend on you. I believe you need to tell to yourself «Ok, I’ll do what I can, and let’s just see if it gonna work. But the main thing – I will enjoy the process as much as possible, and will be proud of myself». If you managed to agree with yourself, and you really believe in it — it always works. I have no idea why. Apparently, when you try to catch something it flees. But when you turn away it runs after you. Rules of the universe…